Great question. Do you know what the answer is? The answer is unequivocally “NO!”
Would you like to know why?
Back in the 1950s, the US government created Project MKUltra (sometimes referred to as the CIA Mind Control program). It was a program of experiments designed to achieve the goals of either brainwashing, hypnotizing, or otherwise being able to exercise some kind of control over another human being’s mind. Some of the methods they used were extremely horrific and unethical, other methods were quite benign and harmless, and still others yet were just far-fetched and absurd.
Now, could you imagine if achieving such results were possible? Imagine just for a second what that could mean…being able to control someone else’s mind; being able to manipulate them into doing something they never really wanted to do in the first place. It would be unprecedented. It’s no wonder why the CIA was heavily invested into being able to get even the smallest results.
But after all the time, energy, money, research, manpower, etc., from the world’s most brilliant minds, do you know what the end result was? “Gottlieb [the head of the project] dismissed his entire effort for the CIA’s MKUltra program as useless.”
What Does This Have To Do With Your Fantasy?
Here’s my point. If the world’s most brilliant minds couldn’t figure out a way to trick/manipulate/brainwash someone into doing something “against their will”, than you probably shouldn’t think it’s possible to do so either. Nor would I recommend you try. But you wouldn’t really want that anyway, would you?
Let’s be honest. Even if you did have the ability to create a Stepford Wife, willing to do whatever you wanted, that’s not what you _really _want.
What you really want is for your wife to want to have this fantasy with you. You want her to want to sleep with other men, to want to let her inner slut out, to want to be sexually free and uninhibited so the two of you can willingly and openly explore this fantasy together.
That is the essence and the epitome of making this fantasy happen. And do you know what?
If you know how to connect emotionally, intimately, and passionately with the deepest part of your wife’s inner sexuality, you can make your fantasy happen in the exact way you want it to. It’s all about helping unleash what every woman (including yours) has inside her–even if she says she doesn’t.
And there’s something you should know about women.
The Seduction Of Ideas & The Idea Of Seduction
Women enjoy and are much more open to ideas when the ideas seduce them over time. And any resistance along the way has nothing to do with whether or not she’ll come around to the idea. If anything, her resistance will mean she’s even more likely to enjoy it if you succeed in hanging in there throughout that process.
Take the movie Pretty Woman. At first, Richard Gere and Julia Robert’s relationship is nothing more than a business transaction. Slowly, it imperceptibly evolves as the story unfolds. The audience begins to think the unlikely couple might fall for each other; perhaps something deeper is blossoming between them. The audience is indirectly seduced to want Richard Gere and Julia Roberts to fall for each other.
And as soon as they think it’s going to happen, something gets in the way. There’s a problem, an obstacle, something goes wrong. But by the grace of passion and what could be love, they get past it. But then something else gets in the way. It sabotages their chances, and the audience is left unfulfilled, anxious, desperately longing for whatever is keeping them from each other to be resolved.
Eventually they wind up coming together in the cheesiest yet “most romantic” of ways, and all is felt to be right with the world.
Can you see the inherent drama that is inextricably woven into the very fabric of not only this romance movie, but every successful romance movie ever made?
Not only that, but every successful action/adventure movie has a similar structure, and it’s called The Hero’s Journey. What would Star Wars had been if Luke embraced his destiny without any hesitation? What would the newest Batman movies be without the internal Bruce Wayne has before accepting himself as a crime-fighting vigilante?
The point is that these things don’t always unfold in linear fashions. (Sidenote: women and linear are like oil and water). You simply should expect there to be some drama along the way. But that drama, that push and pull, the resistance and openness—that’s what makes the seduction worthwhile to women.
And your success will have been due to the reassurance and trust that she was able to place in you because of the connections you will have been able to make with her. And this all will have happened as the two of you grew closer together while you were taking the steps you needed to take to make your fantasy happen.
The Bottom Line
Don’t look for ideas to trick or manipulate your woman to try to get her into your fantasy. Not only will they be utterly useless to try, but it’ll most likely wind up hurting your chances of being able to make your fantasy happen and it’ll negatively impact your relationship.
Both my educational background in Marital & Family Therapy and my experience as a counselor inform my approach, so you can rest assured you’re in good hands because the advice and information you get here will always be solid. But don’t take my word for it–check out this client’s story who didn’t think there was going to be any way he’d succeed.
Are You Standing In Your Own Way?
About 90% of my clients have already talked to their significant other about non-monogamy and have encountered resistance for one reason or another. Now, imagine if they just…gave up. Thought it wasn’t possible. Etc.
That would be a shame. Why?
Well the way I see it…so much of life is about trying to elicit certain responses from the world and the people in it. Think about your daily life for a second and how many times someone (be it someone you know personally, a stranger, or even some abstract someone like a company) wants something from you—your time, your attention, a favor, your consent, your data, your money, your energy, etc. That’s life. We give, and we take.
Now in that process of you wanting things from others and them wanting things from you, it’s only natural to wind up saying, “No. I cannot/do not/will not give what you’re asking of/from me.” And most of the time, you have your reasons. And the same goes for the world saying no to you, right? No you can’t do this, no we can’t sell you this car for this price, no I don’t want to go eat at that restaurant, no I don’t want to go out with you, and so on. The world tells you no all the time.
No can be problematic, right? At least when it comes to getting what you want from someone else. But what if you really need what you’re asking the other person to give? Is it ok to try and get them to change their mind then? Or how about what if you really really want it? Or what if it’s simply very important to you? Or maybe you truly believe in the good that getting what you want can bring/do. If the world or someone else says no, should you just—give up?
Ugh, I shudder at that notion. What a poor life one would lead, yea? You don’t just—give up—because you’re met with resistance, especially if you feel passionately about what it is that you’re asking for or want.
I want to be clear that—unless you’re using coercive or violent tactics, and/or unless you personally and consciously decide you’re going to entirely disregard your partner no matter what she says until you get the result you want—I see absolutely nothing wrong with trying to get a yes from a person you’re in a relationship with when it comes to getting them to try something you’re passionate about.
I don’t care if the something you want them to say yes to is a new food, a new movie, a new vacation spot, a new idea, it doesn’t matter. You’re a person with wants, desires, needs, passions, interests, etc. And so are they. But to think that if you’re met with resistance at some point when trying to get them to walk with you on a path that you feel the both of you stand to benefit from, that you can’t or shouldn’t go the extra mile or put in some extra effort to get them to change their mind—that’s crazy man!
And that’s ultimately what I want to convey here. I think it’s ok to not only want to get your partner to be open to what you’re passionate about, but that it’s ok to try! What kind of wet noodle partner would you be if you didn’t, yea?
Learning To Feel Through The Resistance
It’s hard to see and feel through the resistance you can get from your wife when it comes to turning fantasies into reality. It’s also hard to know how to handle that resistance the right way.
But if you can accept it, and feel through it, and connect to that deeper part of your wife that she has inside (because trust me, just about every wife has that deeper part), her resistance will begin to melt.
This process and the guidance I provide clients with—it’s not about just accomplishing a goal by any means necessary; it’s not about tricking, manipulating, or using any other kind of negative means to help them get the “results” they want.
It’s about helping them enrich and enhance their relationship in the most intimate and passionate of ways. It’s about helping them strengthen their intimacy bond, connecting with each other, and navigating a new path which can be intimidating and scary and uncomfortable and foreign to most women, but not if they have the right kind of understanding, support, and encouragement from their husband.
It’s not always an easy process, but it can be a simpler one–one that winds up giving you the successful results you want–if you have the right guidance.
So, that brings us full circle now and back to the relevance of the question that is the title of this article…
Are You Standing In Your Own Way?
This fantasy of yours, the desire you have inside to make it happen—think about when you first realized it was a turn on for you…perhaps it was only some weak wish you had, maybe even one you were hesitant to admit to yourself…and think about how it’s now become a full-fledged and hard-on desire…one that isn’t going away.
Think about how over time it’s only gotten more pronounced, louder, bigger, how you’ve become more obsessed. Think about how the longer you go without taking steps to actually do something about it that it just sits under the surface repressed, unfulfilled, and because of that—it starts to eat away at you.
The urges you have find other negative ways to express themselves, and your relationship starts to suffer because of repressed sexual and emotional desire.
It becomes harder (and easier) to hide who you really are, and you unintentionally start to create distance in your relationship by escaping into the porn world.
I want you to know that you if you want to make this happen–and you wouldn’t be reading this if you didn’t–that the obstacles you think are in the way can indeed be overcome; the only thing standing in the way of making this happen for real might just be you.
So make NOW the moment you decide to get out of your own way. Delaying only makes it worse—you and I both know it.
Do yourself, your relationship, and your life a favor; choose the path to making your relationship more passionate than it’s ever been before. I’ll help every step of the way.
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